Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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