just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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