Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's blow job season.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
