More tranny stories later!
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
