Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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