I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
