Sry I called you an 8
now i know why i became what i already was.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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