I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
