Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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