I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
