I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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