We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
