I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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