This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
