She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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