Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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