And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
