Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
