it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
