I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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