youre lurking in front of me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
