Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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