they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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