I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She even gives head with a lisp.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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