i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Two words: blizzard sex
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