Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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