This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize