Can i not drive my cunt home
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He? As in you personified your dick?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize