I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My bed smells like the plague
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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