So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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