What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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