fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
