wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize