Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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