ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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