What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
