Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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