im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
