So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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