Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
