THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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