I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
