nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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