I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
