I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
