You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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