Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
