You don't have asthma, your pregnant
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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