so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize