One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
