You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
