I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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