Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
