Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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