Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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