the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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