she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
