So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize