i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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