Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
