google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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