it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
