whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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