sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
