You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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