He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
