You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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