if you like me you must not know who I am
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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