we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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