i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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