I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
